Basic Inanimate Pet Care

Unsure of how to care for your new Inanimate Pet? Inanimate Pet (IP) care is relatively easy, just follow a few simple rules:

• Do NOT feed or water your IP  

• Do not leave IP's alone together unless you want pebbles

• Place your IP's where they can gaze adoringly at you

•  Speak to your IP's regularly but do NOT expect them to be conversationalists.  They can be shy and generally keep their opinions to themselves

• We do not recommended removing your IP from their sweater.  They helped to chose the colors and each IP helped create the sweater by pounding the wool fiber themselves.  They take great pride in these sweaters and the sweater brings them joy. Even if your IP ends up living in a warm climate they should still remain in the sweater, they do not come with an alternative outfit and would much prefer being slightly warm to being naked. They are, as I said before, shy little creatures and would be mortified to be left sitting around in public in the nude.

• Your Inanimate Pet might like a little house. Cigar boxes and shoe boxes seem to work well for them.

• They often think of themselves as little people, humor them. Include them in outings, take them to the movies, let them watch TV with you, set a place for them at the dinner table (don't worry about the food, they do not eat)